Waste Time Efficiently

Thursday, September 13, 2007

An Ode To The Doozers.

Fraggle Rock was a great show. Fact. Jim Henson was at the height of his game and nothing beat getting up on a Saturday morning, pouring a fat bowl of cereal and sitting in front of the TV. “Dance your cares away”…



Fraggle Rock has given us memorable characters such as Uncle Traveling Matt, the Trash-heap (has spoken) and Sprocket the dog. And then there were the doozers.

Doozers are six inch high green working class heroes. A doozers outfit is not complete without his hardhat and work boots, doozers work construction. doozers are the polar opposite of those damn hippy fraggles.



Doozers spend their day building, constructing and working. fraggles spent their day running around being hippies, ‘sharing dreams’ and eating the doozer buildings. Doozers were hard working real men whilst fraggles were namby-pamby flower children.

If I was a doozer I would have killed me some fraggles.

Just sayin.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Pavarotti and James Brown

This is one of the greatest live performances i have ever seen. Proper goosebumps material. Recorded 2006, Both men were well past their prime and in the words of Frank Sinatra approaching "the September of their years" but GOD DAMN! they nailed this one.




Look at the James' face while Pavarotti is singing. Check out Luciano smile and nod his head in affirmation as Brown turns it out.

Two legends of our time together for a true historic moment.

RIP Luciano Pavarotti

RIP James Brown

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

80s ninja movies rule.

Most of my 80s time was spent either playing arcade games (Altered Beast represent!) or making shuriken (thats a ninja throwing star for the uninitiated) and throwing them at my friends. And then we watched ninja movies.

Ninja movies in the 80s followed a familiar formula:

Our hero has a background in either the martial arts or the military. Badguys hire some bad ninjas to kidnap his girl/friend/family/master and he must soul search before opening a case he keeps that contains his ninja suit (that is a different color to the bad ninjas).

He then opens a fat can off whoop-ass on the bad ninjas, ends up fighting the big boss at the endand rescuing the hostage.

So, not much different from the video game plots either.

By far one of the best 80s ninja movies is American Ninja.

B-movie superstar Michael Dudikofff plays our hero Joe Armstrong (Rambo Ninja) who is (wait for it) an orphaned amnesiac rebel drifter.(Rad)




Joe finds himself on an American Army base in the Philippines after a judge gives him a choice of enlistment or prison. The base comes under repeated attacks by local ninjas (local ninjas! RAD!)who are after the military equipment that their leader, Ortega, plans to sell to the highest bidder.

Ortega’s top henchman is Black Star Ninja,(Rad) who runs a training camp to train Ortega's private ninja army.(RAD!) In the end, Joe must use his secret martial arts skills to defeat the bad guys and rescue his girlfriend, with the help of his new buddies in the army and his long-lost mentor.

HOW RAD IS THAT?!

And then there is the cheesiest of all 80s ninja movies: Ninja Terminator.

With a title like that, how can you go wrong?

Here is the final fight scene featuring camouflage ninja (Rad) (played by Tom Selleck wannabe Richard Harrison) taking on the evil red ninja in order to reassemble the golden ninja warrior for the good of the ninja empire.

Read that again: 'in order to reassemble the golden ninja warrior for the good of the ninja empire'. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!




Richard Harrison also appeared in Ninja Squad as what can only be described as big gay ninja. He fights McDonalds ninja in the final scene. (Not Rad).

THEY BOTH WEAR HEADBANDS THAT SAY 'NINJA' RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!




80s Ninjas rule.

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

The Problem With Music

Steve Albini. You might recognise the name. He is a record producer/engineer, he has worked with Nirvana, the Stooges, The Pixies and a bunch of other bands that rule. Why am i telling you this? Because he has written this weeks blog.

Well actually he wrote a piece that i have cut and pasted. (do you really think i know Steve Albini? really?) It is called 'The Problem With Music' And i consider this required reading for the cool kids.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


The Problem With Music.

Whenever I talk to a band who are about to sign with a major label, I always end up thinking of them in a particular context. I imagine a trench, about four feet wide and five feet deep, maybe sixty yards long, filled with runny, decaying shit.

I imagine these people, some of them good friends, some of them barely acquaintances, at one end of this trench. I also imagine a faceless industry lackey at the other end holding a fountain pen and a contract waiting to be signed. Nobody can see what's printed on the contract. It's too far away, and besides, the shit stench is making everybody's eyes water. The lackey shouts to everybody that the first one to swim the trench gets to sign the contract.

Everybody dives in the trench and they struggle furiously to get to the other end. Two people arrive simultaneously and begin wrestling furiously, clawing each other and dunking each other under the shit. Eventually, one of them capitulates, and there's only one contestant left. He reaches for the pen, but the Lackey says "Actually, I think you need a little more development. Swim again, please. Backstroke". And he does of course.

Every major label involved in the hunt for new bands now has on staff a high-profile point man, an "A & R" rep who can present a comfortable face to any prospective band. The initials stand for "Artist and Repertoire." because historically, the A & R staff would select artists to record music that they had also selected, out of an available pool of each. This is still the case, though not openly.

These guys are universally young [about the same age as the bands being wooed], and nowadays they always have some obvious underground rock credibility flag they can wave. Lyle Preslar, former guitarist for Minor Threat, is one of them. Terry Tolkin, former NY independent booking agent and assistant manager at Touch and Go is one of them. Al Smith, former soundman at CBGB is one of them. Mike Gitter, former editor of XXX fanzine and contributor to Rip, Kerrang and other lowbrow rags is one of them. Many of the annoying turds who used to staff college radio stations are in their ranks as well. There are several reasons A & R scouts are always young. The explanation usually copped-to is that the scout will be "hip to the current musical "scene."

A more important reason is that the bands will intuitively trust someone they think is a peer, and who speaks fondly of the same formative rock and roll experiences. The A & R person is the first person to make contact with the band, and as such is the first person to promise them the moon. Who better to promise them the moon than an idealistic young turk who expects to be calling the shots in a few years, and who has had no previous experience with a big record company.

Hell, he's as naive as the band he's duping. When he tells them no one will interfere in their creative process, he probably even believes it. When he sits down with the band for the first time, over a plate of angel hair pasta, he can tell them with all sincerity that when they sign with company X, they're really signing with him and he's on their side. Remember that great gig I saw you at in '85? Didn't we have a blast. By now all rock bands are wise enough to be suspicious of music industry scum.

There is a pervasive caricature in popular culture of a portly, middle aged ex-hipster talking a mile-a-minute, using outdated jargon and calling everybody "baby." After meeting "their" A & R guy, the band will say to themselves and everyone else, "He's not like a record company guy at all! He's like one of us." And they will be right. That's one of the reasons he was hired. These A & R guys are not allowed to write contracts.

What they do is present the band with a letter of intent, or "deal memo," which loosely states some terms, and affirms that the band will sign with the label once a contract has been agreed on. The spookiest thing about this harmless sounding little memo, is that it is, for all legal purposes, a binding document.

That is, once the band signs it, they are under obligation to conclude a deal with the label. If the label presents them with a contract that the band don't want to sign, all the label has to do is wait. There are a hundred other bands willing to sign the exact same contract, so the label is in a position of strength. These letters never have any terms of expiration, so the band remain bound by the deal memo until a contract is signed, no matter how long that takes. The band cannot sign to another laborer or even put out its own material unless they are released from their agreement, which never happens.

Make no mistake about it: once a band has signed a letter of intent, they will either eventually sign a contract that suits the label or they will be destroyed.

Read the rest Here

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Bo Staff Styles Fools

If i was a ninja i would rock the bo staff. None of this rubbish nunchuka business, and you can stick your silly little smoke bombs where the sun dont shine, I will own you with my bo staff.

Think about it, while you stand there twirling your nunchucks behind your back like some second rate Bruce Lee, i will crack your skull with my bo staff.

While you reach into your ninja suit to pull out your shuriken, i will smash your teeth in with my bo staff.

While you unsheath your ninja sword, i will rupture your kidney with my bo staff.

Do you see a pattern yet?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Total. Bo Staff. Domination.

Feel the fear.

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Cameras In Phones Have Changed The Game

Remember when you were a kid and you would get in trouble for something you didnt do? And you wished you had video evidence of you not doing it? Being a kid these days rules

Case in point:

You and your skaterat buddies are having a session at a local church, all fun and games until the Priest comes out and tells you to 'go away please' then it gets ugly. Cops are called. Lets face it, who are the cops going to believe? A bunch of skaterats or a fine upstanding member of the community like, oooh i dunno, A PRIEST!

Yep, youre screwed... but not today... you see one of your buddies had a video camera in his phone and recorded the whole thing, put it up on youtube and now the whole world sees what REALLY happenned.




OR,

You and your skaterat buddies are having a session called 'go skateboarding day', all fun and games until the Cop comes out and tells you to 'go away please' then it gets ugly. Cops arrest you. Lets face it, who are the courts going to believe? A bunch of skaterats or a fine upstanding member of the community like, oooh i dunno, A COP!

Yep, you guessed it...youre screwed... but not today... you see one of your buddies had a video camera in his phone and recorded the whole thing, put it up on youtube and now the whole world sees what REALLY happenned.




God bless NOKIA.

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Mixtape Swappage Pt. 2

So im in this mixtape swap, and i have to come up with a great tape that will blow the recipient away...

Im at the crossroads, what do i put on the tape?

i was going to do a nice smooth soul mix: Curtis Mayfield, Al Green, Charles Wright etc, and then last night i saw Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive on TV.

That video is so badass... so i got to thinking: maybe ill do an 80s hair metal tape, that would be cool.

Or would a boyband tape be better? Hangin Tough by NKOTB is rad.

Or i could do a new romantic tape just to piss everyone off.

Either way: Its all or nothing.

The tape will rule. thats a fact, but in which way will it rule?

Stay Tuned...

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Mixtapes Mixtapes Mixtapes

I have been invited into a mixtape swap. I can barely contain my excitement. Mixtaping is equal parts art, science and performance (which is art...)

Oh man, i cant wait to get this puppy started, I do miss the fact that it wont actually be on cassette tape, it will be on CD so there will be no pause button edits, and seeing as i don't own a mixer, it will be a compilation more than a mixtape, but Hell! i get to make a mixtape! im already thinking about the cover.

Covers are an often overlooked yet vitally important part of mixtapeology, and the correct cover can add shine to your little masterpiece.

And then theres the ever important 1st number...

oh man, this is gonna be sweeeeeeeeeeeet.

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

More Than Meets The Eye

OK, unless you have been living in a cave, you might have heard something about the new Transformers movie due for release on the 4th of July... Now before i start ranting, let me make one thing very clear:

I will be going to see this movie. Probably more than once too. My childhood was ruled by the Transformers, shiiit, how could it not? They are robots in disguise! that right there is the very definition of Radness. ROBOTS IN DISGUISE? ill take three.

So yeah, the director that brought us the brilliant Ben Affleck extravanganza Pearl Harbor, was trusted with what could possibly be the most culturally important movie of all time, The Transformers movie.

Im not the only one that was a little nervous upon hearing this news, but there is enough grumbling all over the interwebs about that, and after seeing the previews, well, it looks completely RAD.

Except for one glaring hole in the story so large you could drive Optimus Prime right through it.

OK, here we go:

So the Transformers are intergalactic badass robots that have the ability to transform into whatever they want, are of obviously much higher intelligence than us humans, They have advanced technologically hundreds of years past us and have traveled across space to wage war on little old planet earth, and when they get here they fight with...

Guns and Bullets.

Am i the only one who finds this completely retarded?

just sayin.

Oh man, that movie looks SWEET though!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Poppn' Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago


Ricky Scroder; What a dork

Rickey Schroder is a muppet.
There i've said it, I cant stand that guy. Never could. Remember silver spoons? what a douche. from his floppy hair, to his annoying 'im so cute smile' i always wanted to push him off something high.

Then, post Silver Spoons he decided he was a real actor and was in a bunch of made-for-TV movies about ohhh, i dunno, some floppy haired poser or something. Brad pitt was in the worst of these movies, Across The Tracks.

Pitt played Ricky Schroders brother. What a joke, we are expected to believe that Tyler Durden himself shares genes with the little prince?

In the immortal words of the Fresh Prince: "Oh HELL naw!".

To make matters worse, Brad Pitt was the geeky brother and Ricky Schroder was the rebel, the badass, the black sheep.

This was made evidently clear by the fact that he wore a leather jacket and looked tough on the movie poster.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Told you so.

The premise was that the two brothers were both really good at running. And that Ricky was a tough-guy.

Thats it. Thats the movie.

What a pile of crap. And Schroder got top billing over Brad Pitt.

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Right Here Waiting For Radness

I hereby announce this week the official Richard Marx rules week. Richard Marx has touched all our lives in ways we are only now, 20 years later beginning to understand.

Through his poignantly subtle lyrics Richard Marx reminds us all that emotion is a fickle beast.

And his haircut is formidably rad.

Heres to you Dick Marx.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you


Popp'n Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

I Think I'm In Love

You See, theres this girl: she is sooo rad, awww man every time i see her i get all heated.

A burning yearning that just wont quit. damn she is just so fine all the way from her badass boots right up to her coolshades:

Femme Fatality: You. Rock. My. World.

How about a date? i'll pick you up on my skateboard, we can grab some burgers and head to the skatepark. You can lie down and i'll ollie over you.

Ill even watch a chick flick with you, how about Dirty Dancing or Ghost?

Swayze rulez.

Call me.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Poppn’ Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago

Dolph Lundgren Appreciation

Dolph Lundgren is a beast. Masters of the Universe was a masterpiece. When it came time to cast He-Man, there was only one choice. That choice was Dolph. And then there was Red Scorpion...

Most people are familiar with his work as Drago in Rocky IV, but this performance, whilst incredible, barely scratches the surface of the man's awesome acting ability.

Consider if you will Red Scorpion. Dolph plays the part of Nikolai. Nikolai doesn't have a surname, he doesn't need one, he's Dolph.

Nikolai is sent to Africa to assassinate a rebel force, only to realize that it is the government that are the bad guys; so he does what any hero would do:

He strips down to his tighty-whiteys, rubs baby oil all over himself and runs around the desert barefoot.


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Dolph Lundgren rules.

Poppn’ Culture Cherry

Boom Chicago